1. - INT. - OFFICE - DAY
GEORGE walks into the talent agent’s office. He sits in front of the agent and smiles.
GEORGE
I have an act for you, absolute sure bet. You want bums on seats then we got it for you?
TALENT AGENT
Who’s ‘we’? (suspiciously)
GEORGE
My family.
GEORGE waves his family into the room.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Here’s my wife Betsy, and our children Alice, John and Roy.
GEORGE stands in formation next to his family
TALENT AGENT
What are you going to do for me?
GEORGE
We’ve got a special Vaudeville act. I know you’ll love it. Betsy, the lights?
GEORGE throws off his coat, revealing the top hat and tails underneath.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
John, my dancing stick? Alice, you know what to do.
JOHN throws his father an old walking stick and Alice produces a small stereo from behind the door. She presses play.
TALENT AGENT
We don’t do that kind of act anymore.
GEORGE
Ohoh what do you do then?!
TALENT AGENT
Entertainment. The kind of sordid stupidity everyone pays to see. People with actual talents, not some all-singing all-dancing family of gaywads.
GEORGE
You just sit back and relax good sir?
GEORGE begins to sing, twirling the stick in the air. The TALENT AGENT leans forward impatiently, lighting a cigarette.
More people stream into the room as GEORGE’S family all begin to dance. In the background, a whole orchestra sets up in the office space and begins to play beautiful opera. BETSY’s soprano voice fills the room, interacting with her husband’s playful sound.
TALENT AGENT
Get out of my office! I mean really. What are all these people doing here?
GEORGE and his family perform for a whole hour, all ranges of pretty vintage song and dance ending with an entire fireworks display outside the office.
GEORGE.
At your service Sir
GEORGE and his family curtsey, their frills and coat tails trailing behind them as they bow.
THE TALENT AGENT sits aghast.
TALENT AGENT
That was amazing.
GEORGE
Thank you sir. We’re looking to bring some sophistication back to musical theatre.
TALENT AGENT
What do you call that act then?
GEORGE
The cuntlicking cocksucking faggot niggers.
PS:
Rudd looks like he's just been devestated in a debate. Someone was all "You realise you fail at life and have a hideous face?" And he's all *sad face*.
ReplyDeleteAs for the screenplay, this gripping drama had me on the edge of my seat, and the twist at the end caught me offguard. 4 stars.
I have to disagree. This was awful. I was vomiting through the entire film, and the people in front of me didn't even go "Hey we got vomited on by David Stratham or whatever his name is." Philistines. There are still bits of it in my beard. 4 stars.