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Apparently I've been absent since September. Proper absent, not this quasi semi-absent meta absence since March 15.

I've been too busy to post, primarily winning food vouchers endlessly. It seems for every $7 I make I have to delay doing anything worthwhile for 3 days. For queries on who to contact to complain that I am back today, cavorting my anthropological impudence to a world of one, re: this man...
I'd recall what has happened in the universe since September 2009 but I don't remember.

To fill the void: here are some headlines from said time.

"Australian scientists have developed what they say is a crystal ball for governments to predict the impact on buildings from sea level rise. (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)"

"Holy McFucksticks Reginald. after ten years I've finally figured it out."
"Surely you jest Harold. T'willeth the secret be.?
"You know how random balls such as those of a cricket, Tennis and testicular variety failed to display any visages of future times when examined visually upon tables?"
"Yes"
"And you know how giant slabs of crystal proceeded only to reflect what we after months of research realised was our own faces, not the "Portable Glass Identical Brotherman" we thought we'd invented?"
"Yes"
"Well, if you use various revolutionary fandangled tools such as hammers and BIG KNIFES, you can cut this crystalline substance in to a vaguely ball-like semblance, and such a doing results in visions of TEH FUTORZ :O"
"Wow that's amazing. We could like, sell that to some arts or crafts fair, or some POWs, or somebody's dad."
"What shall we call it?"
"Australian Broadcasting Corporation."
"Ohoh! *guffaw*, what a novel concept, an 'Australian Broadcasting Corporation', that's bound to not be a terrible failure my friend."


India suffered its weakest monsoon for nearly 40 years, the country's meteorological department says.


?

Weakest?

Either someone has a severe antonymical problem, or India are as terrible at news as they are at being white and not sounding hilariously stupid when they talk.

"An Australian research organization has digitally altered satellite pictures of Australia."

Here is the locale, Australia:


Here's an artist's impression of Australia:


October:

Nothing happened at all. Basically there was a faggoty gathering at the Bar On the Hill to celebrate November 1 eve. Tim came as the joker. Scott came as a doctor. Everybody there spent the night trying desperate in fear to kill themselves but never being able to succeed. Also Levi was Electro Boy so at least everyone had the convenience of their suicide being backed by some sweet pulsing robotunes. And RJ came as Velma. Scooby Doo is awesome.


November:

"Why is his name Tiger. He's named after the wrong cat. His name should be Cheetah Woods."

Deep words from Ben.


Everyone thinks the baby must be some black woman's. It's not. She slept with Obama.

No I don't know why everyone thinks the mother of a baby can be unknown and in dispute.

December:

"Scott is the Freddie Prinze Jr to my Linda Cardellini."

I think that makes me Rowan Atkinson.

Also wow that means Scott is in 24 now.

January:

"In the news recently. apparently India suffered its weakest monsoon for nearly 40 years, the country's meteorological department says. ? Weakest? Either someone in India is very confused, or they're as terrible at news as Conan O'Brian is at hosting my show. LOLZ. Did you find that funny Kevin or would you prefer to be left alone to actually concentrate on your musicianship?"

February:

The Olympics were on. I watched every single event. Steve Liebman has amazing sweaters. Lindsey Vonn's anus is amazing.

March:

Uni returned. I got to see Dr Feelgood. It was amazing.

PS: I started the Atheist Students Society in October. Considering I hadn't until recently posted on here since before then, it makes our 200+ members, swathes of cash, respected recognition and guest speaker attraction all the more impressive. :)

PSSSSSSSSS: Yeah I founded it. I'm the 'every guy Edison stole from' to Brett's Thomas Edison.

Here's a picture of Sean Astin without a shirt on:


Here's a picture of Curtis without a shirt on:
There's no picture of Kim Raver without her shirt on. If there was, would I be on this site?

No.

I'd be like, jacking off or some shit.


We leave you tonight with a performance of The Musical Box on opposite day:


Man without having seen the terrible live action Scooby Doo remake, this post is gonna make about as much sense as a woman in any kind of situation.

"I'm not educated" - Richard Nixon