It's been a while since my last dance. My internet died. I spent 2 hours on the phone with an Indian guy today to no yield whatsoever, only to have it randomly fix itself.
"There was no toilet paper like at 3pm today.
And mum went down the road about 3 times.
And i still dont see any toilet paper replacement."
Yesterday at Uni was epic and amazing. First I got to share photos of young version me around. This random old guy was all 'eeh that's so cute' at a picture of me when i was 4. I wished he'd followed it up with 'I love the young people" but he didn't. Fag.
"I can hear someone playing 'pokerface' in the background....
I'D SURE LIKE TO POKE HER FACE."
...
...
"with a....BIG NIFE"
...
...
...
"if the knife is MY PENIS"
Nazza finally showed up for once. So we got to sit in the music class and be great and laugh at the fat gay coldplaymariahcarey guy. The teacher was talking about how we sometimes listen to music to deaden sounds around us and started on an epic tale of turning music up loud to drown out a 'couple next door." Only to reveal that they were in fact 'washing the dishes'. Then she spoke about the different perceptions of music and how 'Country' now implies the modern faggy country pop shit, not true great classic country music.
"That's right, those original country people were actually democrats"
...
...
...
"THATS SOME HANDY TRIVIA TO KNOW"
After class we saw The Big Red One sitting in a faraway corner. It was great. By the end of the afternoon we had a massive huge posse of sweet dudes and had smashed the trivia finale. The Other Red One MORGANYEAH came over with his friend 'That girl who is Morgan's friend' after having survived his brush with death, and they sat and reminisced upon school.
"OK I"m going to seperate you all according to how you look...Morgan go stand over there by yourself" - Mr Vaughan
Morgan's friend told hilarious stories about Barqueavez and how he used to pretend to be gay to try and hide the fact that every chick hated him.
Other highlights of the lovely tales included:
* "I knew him in primary school, he always got money for lunch but was allergic to everything on the menu"
* He didn't have any real friends so he'd pay kids to be his friends"
I'd wonder where he got the money but it was probably the cash saved by not being able to eat anything.
"Who was the only President of the United States to have been sworn in by a woman?"...."Curtin"
That was great coz I was the only one who knew it was LBJ. Crazy Sam.
On the way home today I had to change busses. And as soon as i stepped on the new bus a cacophony of loudass little school kids filled my ears. It pissed me off, my head was sore before I even reached my seat. Presumably spawned from my angry desire to inflict trauma and suffering upon these children as vengeance for my sore head, after I sat down i started softly (but audibly) singing the "I want to make love to your children" song.
"This is like taking your girlfriend out to McDonald's to celebrate your first anniversary" - Creative Writing Teacher on my poem.
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There were annoying children on my bus this afternoon too, except they were only children mentally. I was okay with them, even though one was a massive bogan and had a mullet, but then the other one started doing that thing where they play music from their phone or whatever really loudly, and they had sat near me, so I was horribly subjected to some awful hiphop. Including that song that samples "Spin me right round like a record" and drops the record line because the fatshit probably doesn't know what a record is. I hate that song. Anyway, enough unfunny ranting.
ReplyDeleteThat toilet paper thing, that was said at 4am.
Man, when you're older you're going to say "I love the young people" so often. Except then people won't be akward coz you're constantly talking about pedophilia and wondering if you are one, because you'll be old enough that it's just assumed you are.
Crazy Sam!
Baha Morgan's friend "That girl who's Morgan's friend". You must call her that every time you see her.
Also, I didn't know you'd been dating that old lady for a year.