JOHN FASHANU

DAMMIT I GOT SCREWED AGAIN.

FUCK.

I'M GONNA STAB PETER SERAFINOVICZ IN HIS SERRATED HEAD.

AND WHO'S THIS GUY ON MY TAZO.

Sorry to take so long to update again, I was busy having sex with your mum.

Apparently Redsam is taking me to America next year if i can get a job. I might try and make money selling McDonalds to Michael Moore. That'd be awesome. Or working as a freelance media censorship envoy for the Jewish. I'd make so much money.

Or being an accountant.

That'd be shit.

Here's an awesome picture.

Question: What do a snowball in hell and an Indian fan of Ricky Ponting have in common? Answer: They are both non-existent entities.

I can't eat anything at uni ever because I have to stop needlessly spending arbitrary money for a year so i can afford to buy needless arbitrary souvenirs to somehow validate my own experience as a tourist because the emotional connection of man and exotic environment is insufficient within the insouciant haberdashery of modern corporatist America.

America's gonna be 'sweeeeeeet' (said with the onset falsetto ala Carter Pewterschmidt.)

"Apparently milk, tacos and BOO is not a good combination"

It's cool though coz I keep winning free lunches at trivia. The only problem with that is the god damn black guy who works in the GT bar (his guyness is what i say god damn too, not his blackness - "sexist faggot".)
He's got a strange face with a tiny mouth, and he keeps eyeing me like I'm in a normally dressed woman on the streets of Baghdad, unsure if he wants to spit at my feet for the sheer extremity of my visual offensiveness, or rape me in the butthole. I keep having to go in there to get fish and chips off him every few days.

"I"m a huge fan of arse" - Creative Writing Teacher

Me, Brickman and ScottymacP went to Bar On The Hill Trivia last week. It was even easier than normal trivia and we won again. There was this guy on the table next to us who looked like he might have been one of them gays. I hated that guy. But the week before I GOT SKINS RIGHT ALONG WITH ONE OTHER GUY AGAIN WHAT THE CRAP MAN. It wasn't actually Peter Serafinowicz guy who got it right either. And Nazza won a crappy cd of one hit wonders off Trivia Bob for having crap offspring (they're actually his sisters really but i wanted to make a joke which prefaced the band "The Offspring" with the adjective "crap." It was satisfying too.)

"What was Gulliver's occupation before he was a ship captain?"
"Neoprohibitionist"

My joke got read out at trivia last week, serving as an ultimate testament to the pysche of the average Australian young adult. As a tribute to this social phenomenon, I will title my next update with said joke. Nazza, Mit Hatscon and the nerdy guy who randomly sits with us creating the visual impression he is associated with us all won for their jokes aswell.

mrbenjaminowl says: name an image describing me?
Pin the donkey on the tale. says: 'portrait of mrbenjaminowl'
mrbenjaminowl says: ....
mrbenjaminowl says: YOU SUCK

Amazing stuff has been happening on TV (and print media!) recently. Family Guy had the episode with Cars-except-with-better-lyrics-than-Gary-NuMan-can-ever-write in it (Brian had sex. With a really dumb girl. Now he's taking his friend Stewie. To get some ice cream. In his car.)
South Park had the Richard Dawkins episode (You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel! Congratulations!)
Scrubs had the episode with Michael J Fox (heavy.)
Godley and Creme were on my tv twice in a row!
Myles Barlow got banged in the anus by another dude.
Bob Franklin and Shaun Micallef were both in my newspaper.
TAYG showed how Hamish is a faggot.

"I took a huge shit earlier"
"I hope Will goes to the police."

Top Of The Pops tonight were showing performances by various famous dudes who used to be in bands. It was all done in pairs, first a song by a band would be shown then a subsequent solo song by the main guy (Eg, Every Breath You Take followed by some piece of shit.) Wham came on. So i asked 'What Andrew Ridgeley song do you think they'll play next?"

"If you're looking for love in all the wrong places, look out you might find me there." - Drew "Fightin Joe" Carey

As a small sneak preview of an impending editorial, here are some pictures of some assholes...