This is to be a QUOTETASTIC post.
I can't be bothered anything creative. I'm too devastated at being 1 of 2 people who go JOHN ADAMS right.
TWO PEOPLE.
JOHN ADAMS WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT TO LIVE IN THE WHITEHOUSE. ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS REALLY. BUT 100 PEOPLE COULDNT GET IT RIGHT AND LESSEN MY PAIN.
I'm gonna stab Paul Giamatti for coming to trivia just to deliberately screw me over.
I'm going to shave off his sideburns then play bowls with his haughty round self.
"People think i'm fuckin weird" - Spinks
"It was the recession we had to have"
"Well it is irresistibly tasty"
"I saw Jon Voight on heat"
"Brisbane. Where the beer is warm."
"Ellen Degeneres has enough wet spots on her already."
"Two people in the world are crap"
I had another quote here which was from a YOUTUBE COMMENT but i can't find the video so screw its spinksterhole. Also why is YOUTUBE still apparently a misspelled word?
"Stop grinding chocolate into my paper"
"If its merciless rationalism doesn't enrage you at some point, you probably aren't alive." - Some guy reviewing THE GOD DELUSION.
That's it I think.
Until next time.
SAVE FERRIS
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
"I'm gonna watch the West Wing just to hear the theme song and bask in it's themey goodness."
There's a hot babe on my tv.
Wait now it's Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
That's sexy.
Watch this video. It's amazing.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/231570006e/magma-misheard-lyrics-philosophy-war-from-kleistgeistzeit
It is not only hilarious. But it is the greatest and most culturally advanced music ever made. It is better than your music. It is better than you. Magma will educate you.
And it has CONTEMPORARY PHILOSOPHY!!!
Wait now it's Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
That's sexy.
Watch this video. It's amazing.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/231570006e/magma-misheard-lyrics-philosophy-war-from-kleistgeistzeit
It is not only hilarious. But it is the greatest and most culturally advanced music ever made. It is better than your music. It is better than you. Magma will educate you.
And it has CONTEMPORARY PHILOSOPHY!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
"Foxtel doesn't do drugs."
Apparently my brother wants to have sex with the girl on Drake & Josh.
That's cool she's pretty hot.
We (and mum, without whom it seems quite strange as we are visiting a family friend) visited a family friend last week.
Man that sentence was backwards.
We went to the house for the daughter's 20th birthday party.
There was lots of heterosexuality challenged women there. It was really scary.
It seems that this guy I really hate got thrown onto the train tracks. Max 'fatty fat fat fat" Quist was out with his aforeunmentioned woman and he got into a fight with some dudes at Wickham station coz he'd been drinking more than a Sam. They beat the shit out of him and threw him on the train tracks where he was too inebriated to clamber back up. All the trains had to be stopped.
"Never go out at night if you're fat and really crap." - Aesop on that night.
The only other story as funny as Max getting massively train-smashed was the story of the old lady who got a new computer which had a smaller floppy drive back in the 90s, so she folded her floppy disk to make it fit.
Similarly in terms of jocularious regalitude was mum's tale about some guy who rang his computer people many years ago with unconnected mouse in hand to ask what the foot pedal was for?
"If i ever get a bowling ball I'm gonna name it Gordon Tallis."
Just after dinner one of the bitches at the party invited this guy she knew over and he came with three mates. They looked really crap and I kept wanting to stab them with my kebab stick. Then suddenly I heard one of them say 'Frank Zappa'. Needless to say it was the fat one. It was the greatest moment of my entire life.
Then later on the lesbians and their platonic manfriends went off to steal a street sign. Some of the girls had done it before, bringing home a local 'Wisteria Lane', and this time they looked to conquer a sign they failed to grasp last time because of their lack of height. The sign was for Short Street.
We were expecting a sign, and a few worn out dirty girls. We got an entire streetsign pole, and a collection of grazes and cuts covering all their supple if masculine bodies.
"What was Napoleon's first name?"
"Napoleon."
"What...Napoleon Napoleon?"
By midnight two girls were passed out and one was throwing up. And yet still I returned home with my pants unstained. I'm not sure whether to blame the fact that my mum was there, or that I was dealing with a bunch of vaginalickers.
That's cool she's pretty hot.
We (and mum, without whom it seems quite strange as we are visiting a family friend) visited a family friend last week.
Man that sentence was backwards.
We went to the house for the daughter's 20th birthday party.
There was lots of heterosexuality challenged women there. It was really scary.
It seems that this guy I really hate got thrown onto the train tracks. Max 'fatty fat fat fat" Quist was out with his aforeunmentioned woman and he got into a fight with some dudes at Wickham station coz he'd been drinking more than a Sam. They beat the shit out of him and threw him on the train tracks where he was too inebriated to clamber back up. All the trains had to be stopped.
"Never go out at night if you're fat and really crap." - Aesop on that night.
The only other story as funny as Max getting massively train-smashed was the story of the old lady who got a new computer which had a smaller floppy drive back in the 90s, so she folded her floppy disk to make it fit.
Similarly in terms of jocularious regalitude was mum's tale about some guy who rang his computer people many years ago with unconnected mouse in hand to ask what the foot pedal was for?
"If i ever get a bowling ball I'm gonna name it Gordon Tallis."
Just after dinner one of the bitches at the party invited this guy she knew over and he came with three mates. They looked really crap and I kept wanting to stab them with my kebab stick. Then suddenly I heard one of them say 'Frank Zappa'. Needless to say it was the fat one. It was the greatest moment of my entire life.
Then later on the lesbians and their platonic manfriends went off to steal a street sign. Some of the girls had done it before, bringing home a local 'Wisteria Lane', and this time they looked to conquer a sign they failed to grasp last time because of their lack of height. The sign was for Short Street.
We were expecting a sign, and a few worn out dirty girls. We got an entire streetsign pole, and a collection of grazes and cuts covering all their supple if masculine bodies.
"What was Napoleon's first name?"
"Napoleon."
"What...Napoleon Napoleon?"
By midnight two girls were passed out and one was throwing up. And yet still I returned home with my pants unstained. I'm not sure whether to blame the fact that my mum was there, or that I was dealing with a bunch of vaginalickers.
Friday, April 10, 2009
"Yes I had warts on my penis"
It's about time I posted.
It's April so we're inevitably in a boring phase of nothing interesting happening. Clearly Levi agrees and feels as if he needs to spice things up.
Sam says:
i am not the "big red one"!
Ben was looking at the yellow pages and he suddenly went "Wow look they named a place after Sam, Little Redhead Point."
I saw the Who two weeks ago. They were sweet. This massively elderly bitch got superpissed and tripped over right in front of us. I laughed out loud before I could stop myself and she was all looking around to see who laughed. It was great.
The concert was epic. They played everything I wanted them to play and near the end I was all jumping up and down like a gay fag and Sam was not completely motionless and robotic.
My mum asked me to get a photo of Sam's dad so we could show everyone he looked like John Brumby.
"I have had entirely too much Hudson this week"
"Newcastle is weird." I love Tim Chaston.
Trivia's so great. We've dominated for three weeks in a row now, irrespective of the fact that Levidicus ruined it for everybody last week by being a faggy lapdog. I was annoyed because my joke didn't get read out. It was "How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb....NONE THEY DON'T FIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH."
It's better than "St George won 11 premierships in a row with 1 raper, how many are the Bulldogs going to win?" and the one I stole off the duckbitch. And they both got read out.
"Heh 'Biden Warns Israel Not to Attack Iran.'
They're not gonna do it now."
Biden's just that good.
They were all, 'lets eat icecream instead.'"
This guy came around saying we'd get an easter egg if we filled in some survey about the true meaning of easter. There was free chocolate involved so I did it. I said my name was Jimmy Smitsford and my email was 'jimmy_smites_jews@gmail.com." I hope some anti-semite called Jimmy actually has that email and gets messages from the religious guy saying how he's an evil man and he's all 'dude screw you i fucked ya mum' in reply. Then the religious dude is all 'how could you cheat on me with that jew-hater mum.' Coz theyre a religious family. Religious people do that sort of thing.
"Man the Bass Guitar is clearly the greatest instrument ever invented by man."
"Yeah.
...
Except when Roger Waters is playing it.
...
...
and Sam."
"When i got home i had to get the Hudson smell off me."
Nazza got his bad stats joke read out. It was great. I knew I'd a free meal coz Nazza doesn't eat food. Egg spend the rest of the day trying to get him to eat a wedge, and then Scott got my strawberry milk on him.
Sorry no dogs, no fags, no shriners and no amputees. says:
PUMPED FOR TOMORROW'S FOOTBALL
GREAT SHAME HAS BEEN BROUGHT UPON OUR TRIVIA TABLE says:
I HOPE THE BALL IS LOLOLOL
I double dipped in the wedge sauce.
It's April so we're inevitably in a boring phase of nothing interesting happening. Clearly Levi agrees and feels as if he needs to spice things up.
Sam says:
i am not the "big red one"!
Ben was looking at the yellow pages and he suddenly went "Wow look they named a place after Sam, Little Redhead Point."
I saw the Who two weeks ago. They were sweet. This massively elderly bitch got superpissed and tripped over right in front of us. I laughed out loud before I could stop myself and she was all looking around to see who laughed. It was great.
The concert was epic. They played everything I wanted them to play and near the end I was all jumping up and down like a gay fag and Sam was not completely motionless and robotic.
My mum asked me to get a photo of Sam's dad so we could show everyone he looked like John Brumby.
"I have had entirely too much Hudson this week"
"Newcastle is weird." I love Tim Chaston.
Trivia's so great. We've dominated for three weeks in a row now, irrespective of the fact that Levidicus ruined it for everybody last week by being a faggy lapdog. I was annoyed because my joke didn't get read out. It was "How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb....NONE THEY DON'T FIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH."
It's better than "St George won 11 premierships in a row with 1 raper, how many are the Bulldogs going to win?" and the one I stole off the duckbitch. And they both got read out.
"Heh 'Biden Warns Israel Not to Attack Iran.'
They're not gonna do it now."
Biden's just that good.
They were all, 'lets eat icecream instead.'"
This guy came around saying we'd get an easter egg if we filled in some survey about the true meaning of easter. There was free chocolate involved so I did it. I said my name was Jimmy Smitsford and my email was 'jimmy_smites_jews@gmail.com." I hope some anti-semite called Jimmy actually has that email and gets messages from the religious guy saying how he's an evil man and he's all 'dude screw you i fucked ya mum' in reply. Then the religious dude is all 'how could you cheat on me with that jew-hater mum.' Coz theyre a religious family. Religious people do that sort of thing.
"Man the Bass Guitar is clearly the greatest instrument ever invented by man."
"Yeah.
...
Except when Roger Waters is playing it.
...
...
and Sam."
"When i got home i had to get the Hudson smell off me."
Nazza got his bad stats joke read out. It was great. I knew I'd a free meal coz Nazza doesn't eat food. Egg spend the rest of the day trying to get him to eat a wedge, and then Scott got my strawberry milk on him.
Sorry no dogs, no fags, no shriners and no amputees. says:
PUMPED FOR TOMORROW'S FOOTBALL
GREAT SHAME HAS BEEN BROUGHT UPON OUR TRIVIA TABLE says:
I HOPE THE BALL IS LOLOLOL
I double dipped in the wedge sauce.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)